10 things you won’t hear in the debate Wednesday.
1. Romney: I’m rich. Really, really rich. So? Admit it, you love my life. You want my life. You want to make love to my life and have a million babies with it.
2. Obama: Those Mexican teenagers who got slaughtered with Fast and Furious weapons were just bumps in the road.
3. Romney: I may be a Mormon, but the guy behind the other podium is a moron. Did you catch that? Wordplay!
4. Obama: I had gay sex in college with some dude in my choom gang….We were high and bored. It was okay I guess. We both had the munchies so bad we ordered Chick Fil-A right after. Whatever. Next question.
5. Romney: I love Ann but my other wives are better cooks.
6. Obama: Well, since you asked, mostly I’m looking at ESPN on my Ipad during all those tiresome national security briefings. I mean everyday it’s just Putin this and Syria that, Blah, blah, blah. I’m all like ‘tell Hillary all this crap. I’m trying to figure out how the Ryder Cup works.’
7. Romney: The reason I’m rich is because I invented staples. Not the store, the little metal clasps. They’re quite handy if you think about. I stapled something just the other day. A menu or something.
8. Obama: Let’s just get this shit over with so I can start building my gawddamn library.
9. Romney: I’m sorry I saved the Winter Olympics. I mean curling? What the hell is curling?
And he last thing you won’t hear at the debate on Wednesday night is:
10: Obama: Osama Bin Laden is not really dead. He’s consulting on the Warner Bros biopic of his life which is shooting in New Orleans for some reason. Tax rebates I think. Joaquin Phoenix is playing Bin Laden. He’s quite good. I mean he’s like totally going to win an Oscar. Meryl Streep is playing Valerie Jarrret. It goes without saying her performance is a tour de force. She becomes Valerie Jarrett. It’s uncanny. I think they cast that guy from Doogie Howser to play me. Did you know that guy is gay in real life…which I’m not…except that one time in college….
Meryl Streep could totally pull off Valerie Jarret. A bad hair cut, the right hair dye, and a little bronzer and she’d be her. Maybe a little Jenny Craig diet…
…or a fart machine. We can call that number 11.
Hmm – John . . . are you reading hillbuzz, because your post makes me think you are reading their expose on Obama’s golfing outings – which is hysterical by the way. (As is your post.)
Ok – I just have to point out that Seth MacFarlane has been named to host the Oscars next year. I assume that the directors and producers of the Oscars will be topic #1 in all speeches of Obama through the election as things that “slander the prophet of Islam.”
Oh, and now – a new thing that offends Islam: the Academy Awards show, not the Golden Globes, mind you – the Oscars.
run – you’re really Michelle Bachmann, aren’t you?
http://dailycurrant.com/2012/09/28/bachmann-we-ban-falafel-school-lunches/?fb_action_ids=10151206379787264&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582
That satirical piece on Bachmann is hilarious.
Drama! This blogger would love this drama!
http://twitter.yfrog.com/kfauoip
Wishful thinking. Wisconsin is not going blue. I seriously doubt Ohio is, either.
“A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, ‘You are mad; you are not like us’.”
A perfect description of today’s msm and the Obots who follow them, even though it originated in the 14th Century, some things never change.
It’s a perfect description of the American population, conner.
Half voted for Bush, half voted for Obama, half are voting for Romney. Is it the same half? Highly unlikely. Who are they, then?
If you want to know the truth, look at objective evidence of both the bigger picture and the details, then apply common sense because what’s true makes sense.
The thought process –extremism, fundamentalism– that ferments cults and movements, and madness, is running throughout the American population.
Had to look that quote up. Good one, Soph.
here’s on back atcha:
“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
Thinking of Romney stapling a menu made me smile. I recall the media ordered in LA not to call the job-creators’ monument to retail, high-rise hotel, and NBA-NHL excess (soon augmented by NFL one or two teams as Mayor Tony and cronies get their way) “TheStaples Center,” even if it is shaped like said office (capitalist?) tool.
Perhaps apropos, I often disagree w/Chomsky, but his choice, like a few of us who live in a blue state on this blog, may interest. He’s backing Stein but if in a swing state would go for O to stop R+R. Hates the TP, notes Occupy went nowhere (despite his photo-ops?): http://dangerousminds.net/comments/noam_chomsky_on_the_2012_election_and_who_hes_voting_for
Indeed.
And now that we’re living in such a time I realize how right my Holocaust survivor friends are that recognizing the truth is the first revolutionary act.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d like to see a little of this:
I like this guy!
Dang, could his pants get any tighter?
about number 2: i can see that ob could say something this ridiculous, but the media would downplay it and try to spin it to say he didn’t really mean it that way. he just has no empathy so i could see him saying something this stupid for real in a debate but the media would still say he won. i can see him saying this just because he has said things like this before, this is almost like a compilation of things he has said already but the media has let slip by.
i love number 10!
# 11. ‘That huge scar on my scalp? I got it when I was separated from my siamese twin, Larry Obama.”
lol good one!
What is drudge screaming about right now? does anyone know what this “tape” is?
Here it is: http://dailycaller.com/2012/10/02/obama-speech-jeremiah-wright-new-orleans/
No one who’s always sensed Obama’s omnipresent anger seething just beneath the surface will be surprised by this. Eg, he’s always appeared angry to both imust and me. Most people, however, may be surprised to see this side of him. Don’t know how much of an impact it’ll have — hard for me to judge.